The self-affirmation, better than intelligence?

SAFFIRMERThose who succeed in their career are not all more intelligent than the others. Some are more successful because they know more affirm themselves. Because they know how to obtain what they need, without attacking or manipulate their environment. You already know the intelligence, which is measured by IQ. But do you know relational intelligence?

The relational intelligence is our ability to adopt the best way to communicate, according to our interlocutor and the situation. It is essential in business. It allows all employees to join their knowledge and capabilities. “United we stand, divided we fall”, if you use your relational intelligence, you get much better results than using only your own intelligence. And relational intelligence requires a good assertiveness. Why? Because we have the choice between four ways to act towards others.

The inhibition

In your working relationships, you could choose to remain passive and submissive. In this case you will experience things that displease you, then you will complain or you will close on yourself. In all cases you will be less motivated, less efficient and things will not get better.

The aggressiveness

You could on the contrary decide to attack, become aggressive. In which case you exercise your angry and express your contempt. So you will weaken your relationships with others. Your entourage will distrust you, people will be afraid of you. It will close up, and will reject you. Under these conditions, it’s difficult to succeed.

The manipulation

You could also use manipulation. This is the way to get what you want without having to ask. The manipulation allows not take the risk of rejection, or the risk of losing his power over others. But the manipulation is also o form of disrespect towards others. As it is, to acquire something despite the others ‘genuine desire, needs and aspirations. on the short term, it works. On the long term, we obtain negative results. Because manipulation is also a form of domination. It is a rule by deceit. Manipulation can even show worse than aggression.

The self affirmation

 Fortunately there is a fourth way of acting, assertiveness. This is the one I recommend. You need to retain yourself in the event of irritating situation. The ability to express your emotions and also empathy. By learning to assert yourself, you will live in harmony with others, whatever the future disagreements.

 While affirming you, you will develop your intelligence. Others will be more inclined to help you. You’ll want to advance with your colleagues, and vice versa. There will be less suspicion and feel a greater well-being. You will be more relaxed and in better shape. You get to put others at ease. And to mobilize them. You will succeed in resolving conflicts. In a word, you will succeed.

Is a good leader someone who is very intelligent? It can be an advantage, of course. But what makes a good leader; it is his ability to express his wishes clearly and firmly, without aggression or manipulation.

A good leader knows demonstrate the confidence he has in his team. He knows how to encourage his team by honest compliments. He recognizes his mistakes and shortcomings without thereby destabilizes him.

Is a good employee is someone he particularly intelligent? Maybe. But it is possible to shine at work without being smarter than others. A good employee dares to ask for help to his colleagues when he does not know. He succeeds in benefit from the expertise of others instead of of making mistakes, and instead of wasting time searching for too long. A good employee can express his opinion without hurting or being aggressive. He is listened to by his colleagues and by his direction. A good employee knows to refuse requests that may affect his own work. He dares asking a bonus or increase when it is justified. A good employee must affirm himself.

 In summary, to succeed in your career, improve first the quality of your relationships. Assert yourself, and you will be more blossom at work.


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